There’s something about turning the calendar page that makes us pause, breathe, and ask, “Lord… what now?” For many women walking through miscarriage, infertility, or the long, exhausting journey of trying to conceive, the start of a new year can bring a mix of hope and heaviness. A desire to believe again… and a fear of being disappointed again. Today, I want to share a story and an invitation that may reshape the way you walk into this year with the Lord.

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A Sacred Moment in a Messy Closet

On this episode of the podcast, I share a deeply personal story. About a year ago, before I knew we would end up having our fourth earthside baby, I had one of those moments with God that you never forget. I had been having severe abdominal pain and ended up getting checked, only to find out I had two developing follicles. The possibility of twins felt wild and overwhelming. After praying for several days, my husband and I chose to open the door to trying again.

A few nights later, I felt ovulation approaching. Dinner was happening, kids were loud, dishes were everywhere… and I slipped away into my closet. No candles. No quiet music. Just a dark room with clothes on the floor and a heart desperate for God. I sat down, breathed deeply, and invited the Holy Spirit to fill that space.

“Lord, if You choose to create life, I invite You into this holy moment. I’m honored You would even consider me a vessel.”

And He met me there. Not after everything was perfect. Not when I felt qualified or ready. But right there in the chaos.

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Holding the Vase of Unbudded Roses

During a recent Fertility Framework group coaching call, one of the women asked me, “How do I trust God when this is so hard?” She had been trying for years, and the waiting was wearing down her hope. As she spoke, the Lord gave me a picture. I saw her holding a vase full of roses that hadn’t budded yet. She was gripping it tightly, staring at the unopened blooms, crying over them. Doing everything she could to make them blossom. Wondering what else she needed to fix, to try, to know.

And Jesus stood right beside her. He looked at her gently and asked: “Can I hold the vase for you?” Not “stop caring.” Not “give up.” Not “pretend you’re fine.” Just… “Let Me carry the weight.” You still tend the roses. You still steward your health, your chart, your hormones, your body. But the worry? The timeline? The fear of another negative test or another loss? That part belongs in His hands.

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How to Start Trusting God Today

Trust isn’t built in big dramatic leaps. It’s built in tiny pauses throughout your day. In Fertility Framework, I walk the women through these steps:

1. Choose a trigger moment. After you use the bathroom, before you start your car, when you put your phone down – anything small and consistent.
2. Take one minute. Just breathe deep and slow.
3. Invite God in. “Jesus, what do You want me to know right now? What do I need to do next?”
4. Expect simplicity. God rarely gives a list. He’s gentle. Sometimes the next step is “drink water.” Sometimes it’s “text that friend.” Sometimes it’s “rest.”

This one-minute practice creates space for God’s voice to actually reach the places where your fear has been the loudest.

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Are You Longing for Direction Today?