There’s a specific kind of tired that doesn’t feel like “I stayed up too late.” It feels like your body is bracing. Like your shoulders won’t drop. Like your mind won’t stop scanning. Like you’re exhausted… but also weirdly wired. If you’re in a trying-to-conceive season, healing after miscarriage, postpartum, or simply living in the modern world, that feeling can be unsettling. You start wondering why your body won’t cooperate, why sleep feels impossible, and why it seems like you’re doing everything right but still don’t feel okay.

This week’s podcast episode, with cortisol expert Justin High, put language to what so many women are living. We’re not failing, we’re overloaded. Not because we’re weak, but because we’re human. And humans weren’t designed to live on high alert all the time.

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The Alarm That Won’t Turn Off

Justin shared something that felt both correcting and compassionate: cortisol isn’t bad. It’s not the villain hormone. It’s protective. It’s one of the ways God designed your body to keep you alive. Cortisol helps regulate blood sugar, energy, sleep-wake cycles, and your ability to respond to stress. It’s meant to rise in the morning, peak mid-morning, and then gently fall throughout the day so by bedtime it’s low and your body can hand off to melatonin and rest. That’s the rhythm. That’s the design.

The problem isn’t cortisol itself. The problem is when cortisol becomes the boss of your body; when it stays high because your nervous system thinks you’re in danger all day long. And when your body thinks you’re in danger, it turns off what it sees as “nonessential” functions. Ovulation slows. Libido drops. Sleep gets disrupted. Hormone production shifts. Because in survival mode, reproduction is not the priority. Come join us inside Fertility Framework where I teach women more on these important topics.

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The Stress You Don’t Realize You’re Carrying

One of the most eye-opening parts of our conversation was how much stress we carry without realizing it. Our phones aren’t just tools – they’re two-way devices constantly pulling our attention both directions. Every buzz, ding, and banner notification registers as a tiny alarm in your body. Even if you don’t consciously feel it, your nervous system does. Your brain has to decide if something is good news, bad news, urgent, or something you’re behind on. And even when the alert is harmless, your body doesn’t know the difference between a calendar reminder and an emergency. So you live in a subtle state of vigilance all day long, and over time that vigilance becomes your baseline.

That’s why so many women say they can’t shut their brain off, feel exhausted but can’t sleep, feel anxious without knowing why, or notice their cycles shifting without a clear cause. That’s not random. That’s cortisol.

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Why This Matters So Much

If you’ve walked through loss or long seasons of stress, you already know this isn’t just mental. It lands in your body. Chronic cortisol elevation can contribute to irregular cycles, delayed ovulation, low progesterone patterns, disrupted sleep that weakens hormone production, blood sugar instability, and increased inflammation. When you’re stuck in fight-or-flight, your body diverts resources toward keeping you safe.

And this is the part I want you to hear with tenderness: your body isn’t broken – it’s trying to protect you. The goal isn’t to shame yourself into healing. The goal is to create enough safety that your body finally says, “Okay. We can rest now.”

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Sleep Is Where Tomorrow’s Hormones Are Made

One of the most powerful moments of this episode was when Justin Hai explained that you make your hormones at night for the next day. Not three days ago. Not next week. Last night. That means when sleep is fragmented or shallow, it affects estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, and your cortisol rhythm the very next day. Sleep isn’t a nice bonus. Sleep is endocrine therapy. Sleep is hormone production. Sleep is repair. If you’ve been staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., waking up tired, or feeling like your body never fully settles, this isn’t you being dramatic. This is your body asking for rhythm.

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A Reminder About Rhythm and Rest

As we talked about cortisol following the rhythm of the sun and moon, my mind immediately went to how Scripture constantly calls us back to rhythm. God built rhythm into creation, day and night, work and Sabbath, planting and harvest, waiting and fulfillment. And if your fertility journey has done anything, it’s probably forced you to wrestle with the hardest rhythm of all: trust. When you can’t control the outcome, you have to decide where your peace comes from. Sleep flows from safety. And safety flows from God.

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Practical Ways to Begin Rebalancing

Healing doesn’t come from forcing your body into submission. It comes from showing your body, again and again, that it is safe. That might look like turning off notifications so your nervous system isn’t constantly on alert. It might look like charging your phone outside your bedroom so your brain can finally wind down at night. It might look like building a nighttime routine that gently tells your body it’s time to rest – dim lights, warm showers, Scripture, prayer, quiet music, essential oils. It might look like lowering the temperature in your room, letting your body cool the way it was designed to for deeper sleep. It might look like stepping outside in the morning sunlight instead of immediately reaching for your phone. We highlight the importance of healthy routines in Fertility Framework.

It also looks like unity in your marriage. If your husband wants to talk late at night but your body needs sleep, that doesn’t make you high-maintenance. It makes you wise. Protecting your rest is protecting your hormones. That’s stewardship, not selfishness. Communicate with your spouse about each other’s needs and then do your best to help one another.

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The Cortisol Reset

Justin ended the episode with something that surprised me in the best way. He reminded us that one of the fastest ways to lower cortisol is connection – laughing, playing, flirting, holding hands, feeling safe with someone you love. Your body relaxes when it feels affection, joy, and belonging. Sometimes the most hormone-supportive thing you can do is stop striving and let yourself be loved. If your body has been stuck in stress mode for a long time, don’t expect it to calm down overnight. But you can start showing it, day by day, that you are safe, supported, and not alone. God is still faithful here. And your body can learn rest again.

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The Next Steps