There are stories we share quickly… and stories we carry quietly for a long time before we can put words to them. This is one of the second kind.

I’m a few months postpartum now, and while my body is healing, my heart and nervous system are still catching up. This pregnancy and birth stretched me in ways I didn’t expect, even as a doula, even as someone who teaches women about hormones, cycles, and preparation.

I’m sharing this story on this podcast episode, not to scare you, but to give you wisdom. I know there are women reading this who are pregnant and trying to prepare, but also quietly wondering, “What if it’s hard?” Or “What if this birth is nothing like my last one?” Or “Do I really need a doula… especially if I’ve done this before?”. If there’s one thing this experience taught me, it’s that birth is unpredictable, and support matters more than experience.

---

This Pregnancy Was Not What I Expected

This pregnancy started with joy and excitement! I journaled prayers about the beauty of life, the honor of being chosen to carry another baby, and the way God creates a child in secret places. And then, after two weeks… it felt like I got hit by a train. I felt awful. I battled nausea, exhaustion, and that constant “I don’t feel like myself” fog. I pushed through because I had kids, life, and work and honestly, it’s a miracle I kept the podcast going through it!

But around 30 weeks, things took a turn that scared me. I became intensely dizzy. I could barely walk across the room without nearly falling. My vision blurred so badly I couldn’t even read. My hearing became so sensitive that normal kid-noise gave me migraines. And the emotional weight of that being unable to function as a mom, as a wife, as a human, was crushing.

Here’s the strange part: clinically, everything looked fine. My blood pressure looked fine. My blood work looked fine. But I wasn’t fine. For weeks, I lived in that tension, wondering what kind of birth this would need to be. I kept wondering if I could give birth at home or if this needs to be a hospital birth, wondering if I should get induced, wondering if I should get a C-section.

---

My Hardest Birth

This wasn’t my first birthing experience. One of my previous births was at home and fast, two hours from start to finish. It was intense, yes, but it was beautiful. So when I thought about birthing at home again, I pictured something similar. But I was not in the same condition this time.

I had basically been on bed rest. I was depleted physically, emotionally, and mentally. Still, by 35 to 36 weeks, I started to feel the fog lift a little. Not normal… but better! And I knew deep down I wanted to try. So we prepared for a home birth with backup support.

And then labor came… Not two hours… Three days. And by the time things ramped up, it felt like I was in transition for hours. Baby was sunny side up and likely had a hand up by her head and horrific back labor pain. It was excruciating. It was the kind of pain where time stops and you don’t know how you’re going to take another contraction.

And I’m telling you this gently: there is a kind of suffering that can feel like it changes you. I had moments of surrender, moments of fear, moments of grit, moments of “I can’t do this,” moments of “I guess I’m doing this anyway.” It was the hardest birth of my life. And yes, if I’m being honest, I had to process it afterward as trauma.

---

Why Doulas Matter (Even If You’ve Done This Before)

One of the biggest lessons this birth taught me is this: experience does not replace support. Every pregnancy is different and every birth is different. A great first birth does not guarantee a smooth second or third. And labor is not the time to rely on memory, logic, or even education because your thinking brain shuts down.

That’s where doulas matter. A doula isn’t there to replace your husband. She’s there to support him and to help him be the protector of the birth space. She’s there to whisper suggestions when things get intense, and to guide him in loving you well when you’re hurting.

Your husband is your → anchor.
Your doula is your → guide.

She knows positions when your body is exhausted. She knows comfort techniques when pain takes over. She knows how to advocate calmly and clearly when you can’t find the words. Your doula holds the space when birth doesn’t go according to plan. Support in birth isn’t about weakness. It’s about wisdom.

This is exactly how I approach doula care.

My heart as a doula is to serve both mom and husband. I serve to protect the birth room, to bring calm and clarity, and to help couples feel supported, informed, and confident no matter how their story unfolds. If you’re in the Colorado Front Range and are looking for a doula who will walk with you with faith, skill, and deep respect for your autonomy, I invite you to learn more about my doula services.

And if you’re not local, I encourage you to interview doulas carefully, pray over your decision, and choose someone who makes you feel safe, seen, and supported. Every birth deserves that kind of care!

---

4 Lessons To Carry Into Your Birth

1. Every pregnancy and birth is its own story: A past experience is not a guarantee.
2. Throw out your expectations: You can prepare wisely without clinging tightly to a specific outcome.
3. Labor is not the time to “figure it out”: In labor, your brain goes offline. You need support people who can think, advocate, and guide you when you can’t.
4. Doulas aren’t just for first-time moms: A doula is not about whether you “can do it.” A doula is about support, wisdom, calm, advocacy, and comfort, no matter how many babies you’ve had.
   

---

---

Support and Encouragement