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There was a moment early in our trying-to-conceive journey when I felt like I was carrying the whole thing on my back. I was the one tracking my cycles, tweaking my diet and taking the supplements. And somewhere deep down, I was also wondering… Could my husband’s role in this be important too?

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The Story Research Tells

The cultural narrative around fertility puts a giant spotlight on the woman. We’re the ones with the womb, the ones who get tested, the ones who get poked and prodded and prescribed. And yet, research shows that one-third of fertility struggles are due solely to male factor issues. Another third? It’s both partners.

So why are we not talking about this? Why do so many women feel responsible for everything, even when the data tells a different story?

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Hand In Hand

In this week’s podcast episode, I gently open up a conversation that’s often missing from the TTC world: the role of male fertility. This isn’t about blame. It’s about partnership and unity. It’s about walking this journey together as husband and wife – hand in hand, facing the Lord.

In Colossians 3, we’re reminded: “Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience… and put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” This verse has become a compass for me – not just in marriage, but especially in the tender moments of waiting. Because when conception isn’t happening as quickly as we hoped, it’s easy for frustration and distance to grow.

But what if this delay is an invitation? To clothe ourselves in grace. To seek answers without pointing fingers. To stand together as we ask God for life.

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Sperm Health

Here are a few key things to know about male fertility:

• Sperm takes 3 months to fully regenerate. That means changes in diet, lifestyle, and stress can impact results significantly within one season.
• Male factor infertility can be due to things like chronic stress, inflammation, poor sleep, low nutrient levels, or exposure to toxins.
• A man’s genetic contribution matters deeply, especially in the first trimester. Even in cases where progesterone and hormone levels look great for the woman, poor sperm quality can still contribute to loss in miscarriage.

But there is good news! For most men, simple lifestyle changes go a long way. Unlike women, who often deal with complex root causes (gut health, thyroid, trauma, etc.), men’s fertility often responds quickly to clean eating, targeted supplementation, better sleep, and lower stress.

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Building Unity

The deeper issue is this: we were never meant to walk this journey alone. As a doula and fertility educator, I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it is when couples step into this together. When a husband doesn’t just say, “Tell me what the results were,” but instead says, “Let’s do this as a team.”

That’s why in my program, Fertility Framework, I encourage couples to go through it side by side. We even have videos just for husbands. If you’re raising a child together, shouldn’t you be preparing to conceive together too?

If you’re feeling unsure about your husband’s fertility or just want to cover all your bases with love and wisdom, here are a few gentle next steps:

• Pray Colossians 3:12–14 together.
  Let Scripture guide your hearts before science guides your steps.

• Have the sperm health conversation with grace.
  Invite your husband in by saying, “I’d love for us to do this together.”

• Consider getting his sperm tested.
  Yes, even if you haven’t yet been trying for a full year. Early information can bring peace, or give you a plan.

• Take the Hormone Quiz for yourself.
  Even if it’s a male factor, your hormones still matter! Find my free quiz here.

• Join us inside Fertility Framework.
  You don’t have to navigate the maze alone. Whether your issue is progesterone, sperm, stress, or something still hidden, there’s a way forward that honors your body and your faith. Join Fertility Framework here .
  

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