I’ll never forget the wave of panic that hit me after my first miscarriage. I was 15 weeks pregnant.
The pregnancy was supposed to be safe. Stable. Secure. But instead, I was left asking the same question every mom who goes through loss asks: What did I do wrong?

I sobbed to the midwife, “Did I mess this up? Was it my fault?” It’s the first place many of us go – guilt, shame, confusion. But I’ve learned since that loss (and the two more that followed) how important it is to take time to understand the dialogue of your body. And with God’s help, you can heal and have a future. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

On today’s podcast, I shared my story on the Hope Blooms podcast with Maria Servold of the Early Pregnancy Loss Association (EPLA). We talked about the connection between hormones and miscarriage, and the gap in care that so many of us fall through after a loss. And friend, I want you to hear three things I wish every woman knew after miscarriage.

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1. Charting is not optional

If you don’t know what’s happening in your body, you can’t know what’s going wrong. Charting your cycle using a fertility awareness method (like FEM, Billings, Marquette, or Creighton) helps you understand:

• Are you ovulating?
• Is your progesterone likely low?
• Do you have a luteal phase defect?
• Is your body showing readiness to sustain a pregnancy?

God designed your body with rhythms, patterns and signals. You just need the tools to read them. My program, Fertility Framework, was created to help women learn what these tools are and how to use them. Charting doesn’t guarantee a healthy pregnancy, but it can highlight when something is off, so you can prayerfully and practically respond.

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2. Sleep is a holy, healing thing

We all want to run to the fancy protocols. Taking all the supplements. Ordering all the testing. Listening to all the fertility guru tips. Doing all the things – yet overlooking one of the most important.

Sleep.

When we’re up all night scrolling, waking frequently, or dragging ourselves through exhaustion every morning… that’s your cortisol talking. And cortisol (stress hormone) affects everything: your estrogen, your progesterone, your thyroid. If you’re not sleeping, your hormones aren’t healing. And neither are you. (I offer a free quiz to begin the journey of discovering hormone health – Hormone Health Quiz)

So before you drop another $50 on a supplement… consider your nighttime routine. Silence the phone. Dim the lights. Take your thoughts to the Lord. He gives sleep to His beloved (Psalm 127:2).

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3. What goes in and on your body matters

What if I told you that your body might be overwhelmed with toxins from food, plastics, lotions, and cleaning products… and that those things could be interfering with conception and pregnancy? Our bodies were made to thrive on creation. On real, unprocessed, clean food and a manageable toxin load. But most of us have never been taught to think this way.

Maybe we spent 15 years eating Pop-Tarts and red dye growing up. Then perhaps we coupled that with 10 years on hormonal birth control. And then we wonder why we’re struggling to conceive. This isn’t about blame; it’s about hope and healing. That healing begins with awareness of our past.

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You are not alone

If your doctor hasn’t given you answers, if they told you to just wait a couple cycles and then try again, if they won’t check your hormones or listen to your grief… friend, you deserve better.

As I shared on the podcast, I created Fertility Framework to walk women through this exact season: post-loss, confused, and ready for healing – body, mind, and spirit. You don’t have to be an expert. You don’t have to figure it out alone. You just need someone to walk with you and Jesus to lead you. And He will.

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